Staying Positive After a Summer Romance Blows Its Fuse

                 I’ve never been the biggest summer person. While my friends would have summer break fantasies of them riding on surf boards with generic good looking dudes, I would have ominous premonitions of me spacing out in my apartment waiting for things to get interesting again. The problem with summer, especially when you’re in school, is that it can feel like you’re life just kinda stops while you’re waiting for the next thing to happen.

                But when you’re seeing someone over the summer, then things can sometimes get good. Then sometimes your summers are filled with odd flavored milkshakes and late night phone calls and plans of what the fall is gunna look like and matching fall sweaters. This summer I was slightly dating someone and a part of me hoped that the longer it went on, the more potential it had to be more real. It was nice to have him around this summer because we could complain about the summers day that stretched on foreverrrr. 

                But soon the relationship became more and more like a memory and more and more off; and it eventually tapered off. When a breakup happens at first it just feels like a shock, because someone was in your life every day and now suddenly they’re just gone. All of their little quirks and random interests suddenly aren’t apart of your life. You don’t get to see their weird magic tricks or the way they could find any excuse to tease you, even if you were acting pretty classy at the moment.

                It really can also take a big toll on your confidence because you got dumped and it’s still the summer aka you now have a million years to analyze every detail. You probably will wonder if you can meet someone else and if you’re even good enough to meet everyone else. Because of my history of struggle with body image, I automatically jumped to how I looked. If I were prettier…If I looked like a Jewish version of Taylor Swift, then he would be mine.

                But one positive thing about getting dumped in the summer is that the fall is so soon, and the fall means a new start. You really don’t know all the crazy exciting things that can happen!! And the weird thing about relationships is sometimes they just don’t work out, and it has nothing to do with you. Maybe it has something to do with the combination of you two together or maybe the person you’re with has his own stuff going on that makes him not able to be in the relationship. But even if you rationalize it, it doesn’t mean it’s still not gunna hurt a bit! Here are 3 post breakup self care tips!! You got this gurll!
  1. Don’t be afraid to feel it out.  It can be easy after a breakup to feel like you need to be empowered and go fight bulls and do karate and go bite things! But you just lost something real, so it’s important to grieve a little and process everything that happened. Go watch “A Fault in her stars” and cry it out!
 
  1. Get some company- where yo posse at!! After a breakup, you feelings can get so intense that if you’re left by yourself you might just cry and watch your friends wedding videos on facebook in a snuggie. I know that I felt better just having a friend in the room with me, just knowing that people did care about me and wanted to hear how I was doing, made me feel way better.
 
  1. Do YO thing- All summer I have been wanting to get in on my summer reading, but I got distracted by texting my love interest or reflecting on our previous texts or thinking about what he would text me if he liked texting more. After we broke up, I finally decided that my trashy art history crime book wasn’t gunna read itself! Being single means you can do all the random stuff you ever wanted to do!
 
Summer can be an especially hard time for breakups since the days feel like extra gooey taffy; but it’s doable! And hopefully you’ll learn something about yourself by the end of your post breakup grieving process, cause that’s one of the best things ever. I really do believe the more experiences you have, the more you start to realize what you want and how you can be more yourself during the dating process. So keep on trucking!!

Written by Catherine Weingarten
 

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